ode to cheese

Dan just wrote this email. I thought it was hysterical and

totally blog-worthy...

Family,

The other day I experienced a valuable moment and I feel that it is incumbent upon me to voice the background and details of that moment.

Let me start off by first saying that Kristan and I have embarked upon a journey that we like to call, "Loose 'dem pounds." As you might have assumed this means that Kristan and I have decided to follow Papa Bear's example and go on a diet. One of the sacrifices of that diet is CUTTING BACK ON FATTY CHEESES!!! That's right...no Medium Tillamook Delight, no Extra Sharp Heavenly Bliss, no Cheese and Wonderful crackers, no Cheese on toast, No cheese on cheese with a side of cheese!!!! What a Total Downer!!! Meg and Lis...I am totally stage 5-ing!

Let me just say though, amongst the dark clouds there is a silver lining. To supplement my cheese needs Kristan has allowed us to eat some white cheeses. That would include provolone (prav-alone), Swiss, string cheese, mozzarella, and even laughing cow cheese (which brings up another point...is the cow laughing at me or with me?). All good cheeses but not quite fulfilling if you have a serious Cheddar Jones. This is where the valuable moment occurs.

The other day I arrived home from work to find my Wife and Children somewhat happily coexisting. Maggie was excited, Lincoln was playing with Mater, Isaac was fussy but hanging in there, and Kristan was smiling. I asked her how her day was and she filled me in on a few details and incidents. She then said, "I have to tell you what your daughter did that was so funny." I thought to myself, "this should be good" because similar comments have been shared and resulted in such events as Lincoln's emphatic admiration of Mom's new shoes (Lincoln - "Momma, what you got!", Kristan - "You like my new shoes?", Lincoln - "THAT'S PERFECT!") or Maggie's rendition of Deck the Halls (Fah be-jerkle to be-jerkle...Joy the Puddin on the Cuddin). Kristan then proceeded to share the following:

Kristan and the kids returned home from a shopping trip on Tuesday afternoon wherein they purchased food items that would be used specifically for the diet. While unpacking the items from the shopping bags and stocking them in the Fridge, Maggie noted that Laughing Cow Cheese had been purchased. With the quick exclamation, "OH!" Maggie scurried off to the nearest kitchen table stool, pushed it to the full height pantry cabinets, and extracted a single graham cracker. Dismounting from the stool in a hurry, she rushed to the Laughing Cow Cheese removed the wrapper and placed a single wedge on the cracker and proceeded to take a bite. Shortly after the bite she looked up at Kristan and said, "Mmm, that's good". Kristan finished the story by saying, "She is her father's daughter."

Now, there may be those of you that may find this repulsive but I would ask, "have you ever tried it?" I am hear to say that there is nothing better than a chunk of cheddar on a graham cracker, there is nothing more sublime than zucchini bread with a little Colby / Jack, there is nothing more wonderful that a waffle with chili, egg, and cheese on top!.

So what is the moral to the story? It is simply this...that those of us on cheeseless diets most definitely live vicariously through our children. So go head Mags, have your laughing cow graham. Go ahead Lincoln, eat that 1 1/4" thick slice of cheese Dad just gave you. You complete me!

Respectfully Submitted,

Dan Johnston